Thursday, April 29, 2004
And BOOM!
Well, I am off to the wedding!
I will be back on Monday with a ton of stories to share, I’m sure. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
I am sure to have one of the most beautiful and emotional weekends of my life. I can’t wait until I see my Rita.
Be good!
Well, I am off to the wedding!
I will be back on Monday with a ton of stories to share, I’m sure. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
I am sure to have one of the most beautiful and emotional weekends of my life. I can’t wait until I see my Rita.
Be good!
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Today for Lunch
Today for lunch, my friend Angie came up to where I work so that we could spend the hour together. Most days I take a nap during lunch and it has become a time that I look forward to from the moment I wake up. But today I knew that there was to be no nap. I had to shove the sleep back into my body and have some fun with Angina.
Once Angie arrived, we went to the local market and got grilled cheese sandwiches. The weather in NYC today is a tad chilly, but otherwise gorgeous. I got a diet coke with my sandwich and Angie got a bottled water and a bag of chips (which were eaten before we even left the store). We smoked a cigarette and walked a block to local Riverside Park. We found a comfortable grassy spot on the lawn overlooking the Hudson River. Luckily there was few to no people at the park today.
Once situated, Angie sparked up her joint and we relaxed and smoked it down. My stomach has been bothering me all day; I think mostly because of my anxiety and excitement about this weekend. The J eased up the nausea and we lit up another cigarette to cap off the high.
Once baked, we talked about our lives and our friends and our relationships. We discussed the wedding in full detail as she and Kelly will be joining Paul and me on the trip. We just talked and talked with the sun beating down on our faces and the wind blowing a crisp breeze through our hair.
Angie immediately housed her grilled cheese sandwich and I nursed my diet coke. I noticed a cop car driving through the park, but at this point we were just about finished smoking. As the cops drove directly in front of us (their necks craning to get a good look at the druggies), Angie stubs the rest of the joint out and opens her bag of pot and puts it inside. I was a bit stunned that she did this in front of the passing patrol car, but with her confidence and my ability to talk through the experience, we gave the cops no reason to bust our asses.
About 45 minutes into my lunch hour, the two of us smoked one more cigarette together and discussed her birthday. We all had such an amazing time, regardless of the fact that some lesbians don’t know how to handle their booze. I wish every weekend could be as spontaneous and fun as this last one was.
We then cleaned up our area and walked out of the park. A block later and I was kissing her on the cheek, saying goodbye. Another successful lunch with Ange.
Having lunch with Angie today was so much better than taking a nap. I feel a bit refreshed and my stomach certainly feels calmer. I might even house that grilled cheese now.
It’s been a beautiful day so far. I can only hope it continues throughout the week.
Today for lunch, my friend Angie came up to where I work so that we could spend the hour together. Most days I take a nap during lunch and it has become a time that I look forward to from the moment I wake up. But today I knew that there was to be no nap. I had to shove the sleep back into my body and have some fun with Angina.
Once Angie arrived, we went to the local market and got grilled cheese sandwiches. The weather in NYC today is a tad chilly, but otherwise gorgeous. I got a diet coke with my sandwich and Angie got a bottled water and a bag of chips (which were eaten before we even left the store). We smoked a cigarette and walked a block to local Riverside Park. We found a comfortable grassy spot on the lawn overlooking the Hudson River. Luckily there was few to no people at the park today.
Once situated, Angie sparked up her joint and we relaxed and smoked it down. My stomach has been bothering me all day; I think mostly because of my anxiety and excitement about this weekend. The J eased up the nausea and we lit up another cigarette to cap off the high.
Once baked, we talked about our lives and our friends and our relationships. We discussed the wedding in full detail as she and Kelly will be joining Paul and me on the trip. We just talked and talked with the sun beating down on our faces and the wind blowing a crisp breeze through our hair.
Angie immediately housed her grilled cheese sandwich and I nursed my diet coke. I noticed a cop car driving through the park, but at this point we were just about finished smoking. As the cops drove directly in front of us (their necks craning to get a good look at the druggies), Angie stubs the rest of the joint out and opens her bag of pot and puts it inside. I was a bit stunned that she did this in front of the passing patrol car, but with her confidence and my ability to talk through the experience, we gave the cops no reason to bust our asses.
About 45 minutes into my lunch hour, the two of us smoked one more cigarette together and discussed her birthday. We all had such an amazing time, regardless of the fact that some lesbians don’t know how to handle their booze. I wish every weekend could be as spontaneous and fun as this last one was.
We then cleaned up our area and walked out of the park. A block later and I was kissing her on the cheek, saying goodbye. Another successful lunch with Ange.
Having lunch with Angie today was so much better than taking a nap. I feel a bit refreshed and my stomach certainly feels calmer. I might even house that grilled cheese now.
It’s been a beautiful day so far. I can only hope it continues throughout the week.
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Drunken Perspectives
If you want another perspective on how the big Lesbian fight of last Friday went down, visit NYC.TwentySomething!
Kelly wrote about the evening as well and it's interesting to see how another drunk person perceived the fight.
Otherwise, go fuck yourself. No one said you HAD to read it.
Shit.
Some people are so fucking ungrateful.
If you want another perspective on how the big Lesbian fight of last Friday went down, visit NYC.TwentySomething!
Kelly wrote about the evening as well and it's interesting to see how another drunk person perceived the fight.
Otherwise, go fuck yourself. No one said you HAD to read it.
Shit.
Some people are so fucking ungrateful.
The Calm Before the Storm
Soooooooooooooooooooo…sew.
My best friend, Rita, is getting married on Saturday! As each day gets closer, the knot of excitement in my stomach gets bigger and tighter. I can’t wait to see her and hug her and say goodbye to her single days. Although she has only been engaged for a year, it seems as though she has been engaged for a lifetime. She has been with her fiancé for YEARS. Like 80. It’s time for her to make the commitment and to start having me some babies. This boy wants to be a Godfather like you wouldn’t believe.
Rita is going to look so beautiful in her wedding dress. She has the most beautiful red hair. The good kind of red hair…not the transparent/do I even have pubes kind. She asked me a while back if she should wear it up or down and I don’t think she ever told me what she finally decided. Either way, I’m going to be hanging with her all day on Saturday getting ready for the big moment. I am so happy to be a bridesmaid, its ridiculous.
No, I won’t be wearing a dress. What did you…just start reading this journal today?
This weekend will bring all of my best girls from school together. As has been talked about numerous times in the past, our group consists of 5 girls and a Joe. All 6 (notice how I included myself in that) are gorgeous and all 6 have amazing senses of humor. While that may be the only similarities we all possess, it’s quite extraordinary that we work so well together. Having the “56B” (our little group nickname – based on our address in college when we lived together) girls together for any event is sure to be a memory filled, mind blowing good time.
Now, in order to go away for this wedding, I have a ton of shit I need to do. I have a theatre meeting tonight. I have to pack tomorrow, have dinner with my friend Mariah, make a ton of phone calls and at some point, eat a bagel. The bagel is more important that it seems upon first reading.
Ok, no its not.
Paul has rented a car for the trip. At first it was an economy style piece of bullshit. Now, he has upgraded to a convertible Mustang because he feels that that is the only way that Joe and Paul travel. While we were in Florida two years ago, we upgraded to a convertible Mustang and he hasn’t gotten the taste of it out of his mouth yet. Whatever makes him happiest. It’s been so nice to see how huge his smile has been lately. He’s been so wonderfully cute these days. I couldn’t be happier.
Last night Paul asked where we were going on vacation this year. He has mentioned it a few times in the last couple of months and I always kind of blow him off. For the last two years I have planned every detail of our trips and on each trip, it’s been slightly less than good. So this year I told him that if he wants to go anywhere on a trip, he needs to pick a place and plan it. Who knows? Maybe we’ll go and maybe we won’t. But if not, I’ve already been propositioned by an old flame of mine to go away for a long weekend at some point in July. Heh heh heh.
Either way, I gots no money, so it will be a free trip, no matter who I go with. Just have to wait and see on that one.
In any case, Rita’s wedding is almost here! I think I just blew my load by accident. Now I’m going to have to go to the bathroom and clean my ass up. Unfortunate really, since I was planning on wearing these jeans to the wedding.
Ah well.
Rita will understand. She always does.
BESOS!
Y
ABRAZOS!
Y
suck my cock.
Soooooooooooooooooooo…sew.
My best friend, Rita, is getting married on Saturday! As each day gets closer, the knot of excitement in my stomach gets bigger and tighter. I can’t wait to see her and hug her and say goodbye to her single days. Although she has only been engaged for a year, it seems as though she has been engaged for a lifetime. She has been with her fiancé for YEARS. Like 80. It’s time for her to make the commitment and to start having me some babies. This boy wants to be a Godfather like you wouldn’t believe.
Rita is going to look so beautiful in her wedding dress. She has the most beautiful red hair. The good kind of red hair…not the transparent/do I even have pubes kind. She asked me a while back if she should wear it up or down and I don’t think she ever told me what she finally decided. Either way, I’m going to be hanging with her all day on Saturday getting ready for the big moment. I am so happy to be a bridesmaid, its ridiculous.
No, I won’t be wearing a dress. What did you…just start reading this journal today?
This weekend will bring all of my best girls from school together. As has been talked about numerous times in the past, our group consists of 5 girls and a Joe. All 6 (notice how I included myself in that) are gorgeous and all 6 have amazing senses of humor. While that may be the only similarities we all possess, it’s quite extraordinary that we work so well together. Having the “56B” (our little group nickname – based on our address in college when we lived together) girls together for any event is sure to be a memory filled, mind blowing good time.
Now, in order to go away for this wedding, I have a ton of shit I need to do. I have a theatre meeting tonight. I have to pack tomorrow, have dinner with my friend Mariah, make a ton of phone calls and at some point, eat a bagel. The bagel is more important that it seems upon first reading.
Ok, no its not.
Paul has rented a car for the trip. At first it was an economy style piece of bullshit. Now, he has upgraded to a convertible Mustang because he feels that that is the only way that Joe and Paul travel. While we were in Florida two years ago, we upgraded to a convertible Mustang and he hasn’t gotten the taste of it out of his mouth yet. Whatever makes him happiest. It’s been so nice to see how huge his smile has been lately. He’s been so wonderfully cute these days. I couldn’t be happier.
Last night Paul asked where we were going on vacation this year. He has mentioned it a few times in the last couple of months and I always kind of blow him off. For the last two years I have planned every detail of our trips and on each trip, it’s been slightly less than good. So this year I told him that if he wants to go anywhere on a trip, he needs to pick a place and plan it. Who knows? Maybe we’ll go and maybe we won’t. But if not, I’ve already been propositioned by an old flame of mine to go away for a long weekend at some point in July. Heh heh heh.
Either way, I gots no money, so it will be a free trip, no matter who I go with. Just have to wait and see on that one.
In any case, Rita’s wedding is almost here! I think I just blew my load by accident. Now I’m going to have to go to the bathroom and clean my ass up. Unfortunate really, since I was planning on wearing these jeans to the wedding.
Ah well.
Rita will understand. She always does.
BESOS!
Y
ABRAZOS!
Y
suck my cock.
Monday, April 26, 2004
That Bitch Made Me Bleed On Myself!
Last Friday night was my friend Angie’s birthday.
Kelly, Mariah and I began the night by joining Angie’s parents for dinner at “Carmine’s” in Time Square. I was very nervous going into the dinner based on past experiences with Angie’s parents. I’ve known Angie for years, but have never been allowed at her house or out to big events that her family is throwing for her. Basically, Angie’s parents used to think that Kelly and I turned Angie gay and got her addicted to pot. Needless to say, as far as I know, you can’t MAKE someone gay. Trust me, I’ve tried. In any case, Friday was supposed to be the first time that all of us sat down (civilly).
I brought Angie’s mom a bouquet of flowers to break the ice. I think she really appreciated that. We all ate dinner together and talked and talked and talked. I had such an amazing time and by the end of the dinner I truly felt as though I was accepted by Angie’s family. It’s been a long time coming, but it has been worth the wait.
After dinner, the four of us (parents went back to their hotel) went over to Angie’s to open presents and get our drink on! We left around 11pm to go to a bar called “Stingy Lulu’s”. The bar was empty save for the crazy ass bartender who made shitty drinks with an attitude. I honestly think she was on massive amounts of drugs, cuz she was a fucking nut case.
After depleting all of the fun out of “Lulu’s”, we went over to our regular dive hangout “The Hole”. Since it was Friday night, the bar was full of lesbians. Usually its gay men, but they have one lesbian night just to keep it all fair.
Well, we were drinking and dancing and smoking (yes, you can smoke both pot AND cigs in this bar – regardless of Bloomberg’s decision to kill the smoker’s good time) when all of a sudden, WW3 happened.
Paul pulls on my arm and says, “We have to go now”. I look over and there is a psycho hosebeast lesbian yelling at Paul about how he bumped into her friend. I look over at this “friend” and notice that she is so fucked up she can barely keep her eyes open. The hosebeast kept screaming at Paul. Now, usually Paul does cause the problem and we get thrown out because of him, but in this case, I saw most of what happened, and Paul was innocent.
I turned to the hosebeast and I say, “Worry about your drunk ass friend and leave my boyfriend alone.” The bitch proceeds to scream and scream about how Paul bumped into her wasted friend. She then walks over to me and I turn around and push her away from us with my shoulder. Next thing I know, she launches her drink right in Paul’s face.
Now I’m fuming.
I turn to her and I’m like “What the FUCK do you think you’re doing you ugly bitch?!” She starts screaming for us to get booted from the bar. Eventually the bartender comes over and is like “Get the fuck out of this bar!”
Now I’m livid.
I turn to the hosebeast and I call her a number of things. Ie: Ugly cunt bag, dyke bitch, fat ass. Whatever I could think of to make her as angry as she possibly could be. She then launches her nasty self at me, clawing and scraping at the sky. I scream and call her names while she claws at my face. At one point, she connected with my cheek and I turned to belt her in the face. As I raised my hand to punch her, Kelly swiftly puts her arm around my chest and starts pulling me out of the bar.
We are in a group of 8 or 9 people and everyone starts screaming at this bitch as I am being literally thrown from the bar by Kelly. As we get to the door, I look down at my hand and it’s covered in blood. I turn to Kelly and I say “That bitch made me bleed on myself!”
Kelly sees the blood and freaks out. She pushes me out the door and goes back to pound the girl’s face in. Unfortunately, security stopped her before she could get to her.
We all stand outside waiting for everyone to catch up. I’m half laughing, half screaming about how much I hate that stupid girl and how much I love Paul for being the sane one for once. If it weren’t for my friends, I’m sure I would have ended up in jail that night for beating the fuck out of that he-she.
I am not a violent person by nature. I’m really not. But after I’ve been drinking and after some stupid bitch thinks she can get away with whatever she wants, just because she’s a girl…fuck that. It would have been a huge mistake to hit her…huge…but I should have hocked the biggest fucking loogie in her hair. If only my initial anger hadn’t clouded my otherwise mean and manipulative mean streak. Don’t EVER throw a drink in my boyfriend’s face. EVER. And don’t ever call us names and demean us in a bar that WE are regulars at. Please.
Whatever, it was such an ugly situation and I’m so glad that it’s over and behind us.
The night ended very well. We all went back to Paul’s apartment and had more drinks and fun times, laughing over and over at the bitch that freaked out at the bar. Overall Angie had a great birthday and I’m glad I was able to be there for her. I think it will be a while before Paul and I go with her to a lesbian bar again though.
Truth be told, lesbians are NASTY to gay men that enter their bar. Paul and I get kicked out of lezzy bars all the time. They hate playing second fiddle to us when we’re with our beautiful girlfriends. It’s easier to remove us from the bar, then to have to watch us hang with someone that they can never get. And it’s not like we are going to tolerate any of their shit. If you are going to step up to us in a bar…make sure you get your shot in while you can. Otherwise…
WHATEVER.
Fucking lesbians. I really gotta get me some gay guy friends.
Hanging out with these girls is going to get me killed.
Last Friday night was my friend Angie’s birthday.
Kelly, Mariah and I began the night by joining Angie’s parents for dinner at “Carmine’s” in Time Square. I was very nervous going into the dinner based on past experiences with Angie’s parents. I’ve known Angie for years, but have never been allowed at her house or out to big events that her family is throwing for her. Basically, Angie’s parents used to think that Kelly and I turned Angie gay and got her addicted to pot. Needless to say, as far as I know, you can’t MAKE someone gay. Trust me, I’ve tried. In any case, Friday was supposed to be the first time that all of us sat down (civilly).
I brought Angie’s mom a bouquet of flowers to break the ice. I think she really appreciated that. We all ate dinner together and talked and talked and talked. I had such an amazing time and by the end of the dinner I truly felt as though I was accepted by Angie’s family. It’s been a long time coming, but it has been worth the wait.
After dinner, the four of us (parents went back to their hotel) went over to Angie’s to open presents and get our drink on! We left around 11pm to go to a bar called “Stingy Lulu’s”. The bar was empty save for the crazy ass bartender who made shitty drinks with an attitude. I honestly think she was on massive amounts of drugs, cuz she was a fucking nut case.
After depleting all of the fun out of “Lulu’s”, we went over to our regular dive hangout “The Hole”. Since it was Friday night, the bar was full of lesbians. Usually its gay men, but they have one lesbian night just to keep it all fair.
Well, we were drinking and dancing and smoking (yes, you can smoke both pot AND cigs in this bar – regardless of Bloomberg’s decision to kill the smoker’s good time) when all of a sudden, WW3 happened.
Paul pulls on my arm and says, “We have to go now”. I look over and there is a psycho hosebeast lesbian yelling at Paul about how he bumped into her friend. I look over at this “friend” and notice that she is so fucked up she can barely keep her eyes open. The hosebeast kept screaming at Paul. Now, usually Paul does cause the problem and we get thrown out because of him, but in this case, I saw most of what happened, and Paul was innocent.
I turned to the hosebeast and I say, “Worry about your drunk ass friend and leave my boyfriend alone.” The bitch proceeds to scream and scream about how Paul bumped into her wasted friend. She then walks over to me and I turn around and push her away from us with my shoulder. Next thing I know, she launches her drink right in Paul’s face.
Now I’m fuming.
I turn to her and I’m like “What the FUCK do you think you’re doing you ugly bitch?!” She starts screaming for us to get booted from the bar. Eventually the bartender comes over and is like “Get the fuck out of this bar!”
Now I’m livid.
I turn to the hosebeast and I call her a number of things. Ie: Ugly cunt bag, dyke bitch, fat ass. Whatever I could think of to make her as angry as she possibly could be. She then launches her nasty self at me, clawing and scraping at the sky. I scream and call her names while she claws at my face. At one point, she connected with my cheek and I turned to belt her in the face. As I raised my hand to punch her, Kelly swiftly puts her arm around my chest and starts pulling me out of the bar.
We are in a group of 8 or 9 people and everyone starts screaming at this bitch as I am being literally thrown from the bar by Kelly. As we get to the door, I look down at my hand and it’s covered in blood. I turn to Kelly and I say “That bitch made me bleed on myself!”
Kelly sees the blood and freaks out. She pushes me out the door and goes back to pound the girl’s face in. Unfortunately, security stopped her before she could get to her.
We all stand outside waiting for everyone to catch up. I’m half laughing, half screaming about how much I hate that stupid girl and how much I love Paul for being the sane one for once. If it weren’t for my friends, I’m sure I would have ended up in jail that night for beating the fuck out of that he-she.
I am not a violent person by nature. I’m really not. But after I’ve been drinking and after some stupid bitch thinks she can get away with whatever she wants, just because she’s a girl…fuck that. It would have been a huge mistake to hit her…huge…but I should have hocked the biggest fucking loogie in her hair. If only my initial anger hadn’t clouded my otherwise mean and manipulative mean streak. Don’t EVER throw a drink in my boyfriend’s face. EVER. And don’t ever call us names and demean us in a bar that WE are regulars at. Please.
Whatever, it was such an ugly situation and I’m so glad that it’s over and behind us.
The night ended very well. We all went back to Paul’s apartment and had more drinks and fun times, laughing over and over at the bitch that freaked out at the bar. Overall Angie had a great birthday and I’m glad I was able to be there for her. I think it will be a while before Paul and I go with her to a lesbian bar again though.
Truth be told, lesbians are NASTY to gay men that enter their bar. Paul and I get kicked out of lezzy bars all the time. They hate playing second fiddle to us when we’re with our beautiful girlfriends. It’s easier to remove us from the bar, then to have to watch us hang with someone that they can never get. And it’s not like we are going to tolerate any of their shit. If you are going to step up to us in a bar…make sure you get your shot in while you can. Otherwise…
WHATEVER.
Fucking lesbians. I really gotta get me some gay guy friends.
Hanging out with these girls is going to get me killed.
Friday, April 23, 2004
The Fall of Jerome
Please, like this post has anything to do with a guy named Jerome. The title popped into my mind as I was thinking about this entry and I figured I had to use it. Cuz I mean…the fall of Jerome!
The other day I was watching the news and they did a story on a five legged calf. Now, this may not seem too strange as we know that nuclear waste can do anything out of the ordinary with just a little prayer and faith. Anyway, there was this five legged calf and the strange part about it is that the fifth leg was casually tossed over the calf’s back. It was just relaxing there. A relaxing fifth leg. Immediately I thought that they should have removed that fifth leg cuz it was so lazy, but the farmers didn’t do that. They laughed and called the newspapers and said “Come here and see the funniest thing. A calf with a lazy fifth leg!” And I laughed.
In other news…as most everyone knows, I have two sets of hamsters. I have Jimbo, my love, and three other mean and nasty dwarf hamsters. The dwarfs live in the same cage and are constantly bickering over one thing or another. I haven’t cleaned their cage in three weeks and when I got home yesterday, they looked at me with the saddest, most pleading eyes. “Please help us escape our filth!” In any case, I went to pick them up, cuz they looked so cute all covered in shit and piss. As I cupped one of them in my hand, the other two snarled and latched their teeth on to my thumb. Two sets of teeth on one thumb. I yelped in pain, dropped the other hamster, and told them to enjoy their poop and pee dinner. You want to bite me? I don’t clean you for another day.
Here are words that rhyme with shitbag:
Titbag
Cuntbag
Dishrag
Saggy tits
Bored of that game now.
My best friend Rita is getting married next Friday! Yahoooooodle! I get to wear a tux and stay in a hotel and I will be in all the pictures! I might even get my haircut with the rest of the bridesmaids. Paul is going to be my date. It is the first time that we have ever attended a function as gay boyfriends. I am so proud of him for having the courage to go through with it. He has been so supportive lately. I could kiss his face. Oh yeah, I do kiss his face. Kissy face. Kissy face nelson.
Rita and I had a very long talk last night about the upcoming event. She is doing pretty well and from what I can tell hasn’t gotten a severe case of cold feet. I did tell her, though, that if for any reason she wants to hightail it out of the wedding and drive to Canada to escape, I’ll charge up my credit cards and we will slip away! A true best friend always gives you the out.
That’s about it for me. Today is my friend Angie’s birthday. Celebrating with her tonight. Tomorrow night I’m supposed to go to a roller skating party, but I’m sure that I will bail on that one. I just don’t see how it’s cool to go roller skating at 26. Especially with a bunch of straight people. Now that’s just uncomfortable. But then again, if you are a straight guy and you go to a roller skating party, I’m not so sure that you are so cool that I would feel like a loser. I don’t know…roller skating is for gay babies.
Did this post melt your labias? Did it blow your nuts right off the sack?
If not, go here:
Royal TIT watching!
Have great weekends everyone!
Much much love and sex.
Please, like this post has anything to do with a guy named Jerome. The title popped into my mind as I was thinking about this entry and I figured I had to use it. Cuz I mean…the fall of Jerome!
The other day I was watching the news and they did a story on a five legged calf. Now, this may not seem too strange as we know that nuclear waste can do anything out of the ordinary with just a little prayer and faith. Anyway, there was this five legged calf and the strange part about it is that the fifth leg was casually tossed over the calf’s back. It was just relaxing there. A relaxing fifth leg. Immediately I thought that they should have removed that fifth leg cuz it was so lazy, but the farmers didn’t do that. They laughed and called the newspapers and said “Come here and see the funniest thing. A calf with a lazy fifth leg!” And I laughed.
In other news…as most everyone knows, I have two sets of hamsters. I have Jimbo, my love, and three other mean and nasty dwarf hamsters. The dwarfs live in the same cage and are constantly bickering over one thing or another. I haven’t cleaned their cage in three weeks and when I got home yesterday, they looked at me with the saddest, most pleading eyes. “Please help us escape our filth!” In any case, I went to pick them up, cuz they looked so cute all covered in shit and piss. As I cupped one of them in my hand, the other two snarled and latched their teeth on to my thumb. Two sets of teeth on one thumb. I yelped in pain, dropped the other hamster, and told them to enjoy their poop and pee dinner. You want to bite me? I don’t clean you for another day.
Here are words that rhyme with shitbag:
Titbag
Cuntbag
Dishrag
Saggy tits
Bored of that game now.
My best friend Rita is getting married next Friday! Yahoooooodle! I get to wear a tux and stay in a hotel and I will be in all the pictures! I might even get my haircut with the rest of the bridesmaids. Paul is going to be my date. It is the first time that we have ever attended a function as gay boyfriends. I am so proud of him for having the courage to go through with it. He has been so supportive lately. I could kiss his face. Oh yeah, I do kiss his face. Kissy face. Kissy face nelson.
Rita and I had a very long talk last night about the upcoming event. She is doing pretty well and from what I can tell hasn’t gotten a severe case of cold feet. I did tell her, though, that if for any reason she wants to hightail it out of the wedding and drive to Canada to escape, I’ll charge up my credit cards and we will slip away! A true best friend always gives you the out.
That’s about it for me. Today is my friend Angie’s birthday. Celebrating with her tonight. Tomorrow night I’m supposed to go to a roller skating party, but I’m sure that I will bail on that one. I just don’t see how it’s cool to go roller skating at 26. Especially with a bunch of straight people. Now that’s just uncomfortable. But then again, if you are a straight guy and you go to a roller skating party, I’m not so sure that you are so cool that I would feel like a loser. I don’t know…roller skating is for gay babies.
Did this post melt your labias? Did it blow your nuts right off the sack?
If not, go here:
Royal TIT watching!
Have great weekends everyone!
Much much love and sex.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Rough Week
Hi all!
Sorry for the lack of posts. Will be back tomorrow with a post so extraordinary that your nuts will be blown off.
If you don't have nuts, then understand that your labias will melt from sheer joy!
Peace out.
Hi all!
Sorry for the lack of posts. Will be back tomorrow with a post so extraordinary that your nuts will be blown off.
If you don't have nuts, then understand that your labias will melt from sheer joy!
Peace out.
Monday, April 19, 2004
Baby and Daddy – Not Baby Daddy
Last night, Paul and I tucked ourselves in bed after the premiere episode of Queer As Folk. We talked for a little while and at about midnight, I drifted off to sleep.
At 1am, my little hamster guy, Jim, started running on his wheel. I fed him quite a few vegetables yesterday so I think he had tons of restless energy in his body. He ran on that wheel for hours without reprieve. Finally at 3am, I had enough of his tireless legs and I removed the wheel from his cage. I hate doing that to him, but I surely needed some sleep. I crawled back into bed with Paul and we went back to sleep.
Around 4am, I awoke to little feet walking on my face. I immediately sat up thinking that there was a mouse running all over my bed. When I flipped on the light, I saw little Jimbo sitting next to my pillow looking at me. I was like “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?”
I immediately woke up Paul and we marveled at how Jim had gotten out of his cage, crawled across the carpet, climbed up my comforter and got into bed with me. Are hamsters that smart? Did he really want to get into bed with me? Was he just lonely? Baby wanted to be with daddy.
I kissed him over and over on his little head and put him back into his cage. I noticed that one of the attachment pieces on the top of his cage had come undone. That was how he escaped. I am still in shock that he made the choice to get in bed with me rather than walk out the crack under my door and into the mouth of our housecat, Trey. It is very possible that I would have woken up to see Trey making a meal out of my baby hamster.
I have had quite a few scares with this hamster. I need to be MUCH more careful about keeping him in solitary confinement.
In other news, the weather is amazing. I had a beautiful weekend with my girls, Kelly and Angie. Then I read some of my new book The Poisonwood Bible (by Barbara Kingsolver) while eating a bagel and sitting by the East River. It was a truly wonderful hour of my life.
I watched some movies, made Paul and I a great dinner and did my best to maximize my time off from work.
I have a very busy week ahead of me what with theatre rehearsals, birthday dinners, and my parents coming down for brunch. Then the following weekend is Rita’s wedding! YAY! Busy busy busy.
Enjoy the weather ya’ll!
We are SO overdue for some sun.
Last night, Paul and I tucked ourselves in bed after the premiere episode of Queer As Folk. We talked for a little while and at about midnight, I drifted off to sleep.
At 1am, my little hamster guy, Jim, started running on his wheel. I fed him quite a few vegetables yesterday so I think he had tons of restless energy in his body. He ran on that wheel for hours without reprieve. Finally at 3am, I had enough of his tireless legs and I removed the wheel from his cage. I hate doing that to him, but I surely needed some sleep. I crawled back into bed with Paul and we went back to sleep.
Around 4am, I awoke to little feet walking on my face. I immediately sat up thinking that there was a mouse running all over my bed. When I flipped on the light, I saw little Jimbo sitting next to my pillow looking at me. I was like “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?”
I immediately woke up Paul and we marveled at how Jim had gotten out of his cage, crawled across the carpet, climbed up my comforter and got into bed with me. Are hamsters that smart? Did he really want to get into bed with me? Was he just lonely? Baby wanted to be with daddy.
I kissed him over and over on his little head and put him back into his cage. I noticed that one of the attachment pieces on the top of his cage had come undone. That was how he escaped. I am still in shock that he made the choice to get in bed with me rather than walk out the crack under my door and into the mouth of our housecat, Trey. It is very possible that I would have woken up to see Trey making a meal out of my baby hamster.
I have had quite a few scares with this hamster. I need to be MUCH more careful about keeping him in solitary confinement.
In other news, the weather is amazing. I had a beautiful weekend with my girls, Kelly and Angie. Then I read some of my new book The Poisonwood Bible (by Barbara Kingsolver) while eating a bagel and sitting by the East River. It was a truly wonderful hour of my life.
I watched some movies, made Paul and I a great dinner and did my best to maximize my time off from work.
I have a very busy week ahead of me what with theatre rehearsals, birthday dinners, and my parents coming down for brunch. Then the following weekend is Rita’s wedding! YAY! Busy busy busy.
Enjoy the weather ya’ll!
We are SO overdue for some sun.
Thursday, April 15, 2004
What a Difference a Day Makes
I woke up this morning feeling much better than I have felt in the last week. I think my body was ready to give up the depression and allow me to move forward in a more positive light.
Since finding out last Thursday that my brother was going to be staying in Baghdad for at least a few more months, it has been very difficult to even crack a smile. I’ve been so angry and sad and frustrated and worst of all, I’ve felt really alone with my feelings. Sure, my friends in NYC are doing whatever they can to get me out of the apartment, but sometimes you just need to wallow in self-pity for awhile. I did that and now I may be able to return to my regularly scheduled program.
It’s been awhile since something has knocked me on my ass so hard. As someone who deals with (at times) pretty severe depression, I always get nervous that the one thing to push me over the edge will be the thing that keeps me there forever. As long as my brother comes home alive, I don’t think we will ever have to confront that one thing.
For his first year in military combat, I was pretty confident that my brother would make it through ok. I was the one telling my parents not to get so worked up. I felt the presence of God in my body and he told me that I should just have faith; that it wasn’t time for me to lose my brother. When I got the horrible news of his delayed return home last week, I felt all of that built in faith flush out of my system. Most of the tears I shed were based on the fact that I didn’t trust in his safety anymore.
With much prayer, I have slowly found my way back to the place I was before. My brother may have to stay for a few more months, but he will surely be ok and he will make me even more proud than he has already. That kid…serving our country so bravely…wow. I couldn’t love him more than I already do. And he WILL come home safely and we WILL have a wonderful family reunion when he does. Only a matter of time.
See how positive I am being now? SO positive!
I have found solace in my hatred of George W. Bush. Not really hatred, but complete lack of interest or understanding in anything he does. It’s actually to the point where I burst out laughing in people’s faces when they tell me that they are going to vote for Bush. I mean, the vote is all about personal belief so I don’t begrudge them that. But at the same time…have we been living in the same country for the past 3 years? And have you been MY friend during that time? Not sure that you would still be able to vote for Bush after that, but I’ll take that as a sign of “intelligence” on your part.
HA!
Look at me getting my fire back!
God, I feel so much better. Thank you.
To all of you that have sent me emails and left comments on my site: your support has not gone unnoticed. Rose, your offer of a phone call is incredibly sweet and open hearted. Thank you. To the rest…your sensitivity to me over the last week is something that will stay with me forever. I have some really wonderful people in my life, without which I would have surely lost my mind completely.
Here comes Friday!
I woke up this morning feeling much better than I have felt in the last week. I think my body was ready to give up the depression and allow me to move forward in a more positive light.
Since finding out last Thursday that my brother was going to be staying in Baghdad for at least a few more months, it has been very difficult to even crack a smile. I’ve been so angry and sad and frustrated and worst of all, I’ve felt really alone with my feelings. Sure, my friends in NYC are doing whatever they can to get me out of the apartment, but sometimes you just need to wallow in self-pity for awhile. I did that and now I may be able to return to my regularly scheduled program.
It’s been awhile since something has knocked me on my ass so hard. As someone who deals with (at times) pretty severe depression, I always get nervous that the one thing to push me over the edge will be the thing that keeps me there forever. As long as my brother comes home alive, I don’t think we will ever have to confront that one thing.
For his first year in military combat, I was pretty confident that my brother would make it through ok. I was the one telling my parents not to get so worked up. I felt the presence of God in my body and he told me that I should just have faith; that it wasn’t time for me to lose my brother. When I got the horrible news of his delayed return home last week, I felt all of that built in faith flush out of my system. Most of the tears I shed were based on the fact that I didn’t trust in his safety anymore.
With much prayer, I have slowly found my way back to the place I was before. My brother may have to stay for a few more months, but he will surely be ok and he will make me even more proud than he has already. That kid…serving our country so bravely…wow. I couldn’t love him more than I already do. And he WILL come home safely and we WILL have a wonderful family reunion when he does. Only a matter of time.
See how positive I am being now? SO positive!
I have found solace in my hatred of George W. Bush. Not really hatred, but complete lack of interest or understanding in anything he does. It’s actually to the point where I burst out laughing in people’s faces when they tell me that they are going to vote for Bush. I mean, the vote is all about personal belief so I don’t begrudge them that. But at the same time…have we been living in the same country for the past 3 years? And have you been MY friend during that time? Not sure that you would still be able to vote for Bush after that, but I’ll take that as a sign of “intelligence” on your part.
HA!
Look at me getting my fire back!
God, I feel so much better. Thank you.
To all of you that have sent me emails and left comments on my site: your support has not gone unnoticed. Rose, your offer of a phone call is incredibly sweet and open hearted. Thank you. To the rest…your sensitivity to me over the last week is something that will stay with me forever. I have some really wonderful people in my life, without which I would have surely lost my mind completely.
Here comes Friday!
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Nothing has Changed
I wish I could say that I was coming back to this journal refreshed and ready to go. Unfortunately, I’m still pretty sad and am having a really tough time breaking out of the rut.
I went home this weekend to be with my parents and the visit didn’t go as smoothly as I had hoped. There were a lot of tears and my dad and I got into a couple screaming matches on Friday night. I’m still kind of reeling from that whole experience. The stress that my family is under right now is almost impossible to describe, yet feels all consuming.
My brother is not doing well at all. It’s too hard to get into it any further.
I feel really lonely and like no one understands. I feel disconnected from some of my friends and I can’t seem to find any sort of joy in either their lives or my own.
I feel completely defeated. I don’t care about the bullshit that was plaguing me before. I could care less about my acting, my life in NYC, or anything else that used to make me happy.
I know that this will pass. But it hasn’t yet and my nerves are shot.
The only thing I do know is that I hate Bush and I hate this war and I feel like I live in a country that is based on false democracy. The system doesn’t seem to work, so why do I try to be such a big part of it?
Eventually I will get my fire back, but for now, there isn’t much else I can say.
I’ve been beaten down and it’s really hard to get back up and fight the good fight.
I wish I could say that I was coming back to this journal refreshed and ready to go. Unfortunately, I’m still pretty sad and am having a really tough time breaking out of the rut.
I went home this weekend to be with my parents and the visit didn’t go as smoothly as I had hoped. There were a lot of tears and my dad and I got into a couple screaming matches on Friday night. I’m still kind of reeling from that whole experience. The stress that my family is under right now is almost impossible to describe, yet feels all consuming.
My brother is not doing well at all. It’s too hard to get into it any further.
I feel really lonely and like no one understands. I feel disconnected from some of my friends and I can’t seem to find any sort of joy in either their lives or my own.
I feel completely defeated. I don’t care about the bullshit that was plaguing me before. I could care less about my acting, my life in NYC, or anything else that used to make me happy.
I know that this will pass. But it hasn’t yet and my nerves are shot.
The only thing I do know is that I hate Bush and I hate this war and I feel like I live in a country that is based on false democracy. The system doesn’t seem to work, so why do I try to be such a big part of it?
Eventually I will get my fire back, but for now, there isn’t much else I can say.
I’ve been beaten down and it’s really hard to get back up and fight the good fight.
Empty Post
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Sadness
Last night, as Paul and I were putting on our jackets to go to the grocery store, my phone rang and my dad left a message on our answering machine:
“Joe, this is your father. I have a question I need you to ask your brother when he calls you tomorrow. It’s incredibly important.”
My jaw immediately clenched shut as I thought about what my dad was going to say. I was so shocked by the message that I told Paul that I didn’t want to call him back, at least not until after we went grocery shopping. We finished getting ready and stepped out the front door.
As we walked to the store, Paul handed me the phone and before I could resist any further, he dialed the number to my home. My dad answered immediately and we had the following conversation:
Dad: “I have some potentially bad news.”
Me: “Oh no, what is it?”
Dad: “There is a high chance that Winfield will not be coming home for his May visit. There has been an uprising in Baghdad that has caused leave cancellation for many different military personnel.”
Me: “You mean, he’s not coming home anymore?”
Dad: “It’s very possible. (choking on sobs) Winfield told us that he will call you tomorrow. He will not be able to tell you details, but you need to ask him one question for us. “Have the plans changed?”
Me: “I don’t understand. He’s just not coming home now?”
Dad: “That seems to be the case, but we won’t know for sure until he calls you tomorrow.”
Me: (shocked) “Ok. I will ask him that question when he calls.”
Dad: (crying hard) “Thanks Joe. Call me as soon as you know. Please.”
Me: “I will.”
I hung up the phone and stood in the middle of the street for a minute. I felt as though my world totally caved in out of nowhere. Paul was waiting for me on the corner and he asked what was wrong. I told him what my dad said and he offered to go sit somewhere to discuss it. I refused and told him that we should continue on with our night as best as we could.
We began walking around the grocery store and when we ended up in the bread isle, I lost it. The sobs came hard and fast and I felt as though I was going to pass out. Paul immediately wrapped his arms around me in the store and we both stood there and cried for a couple of minutes; neither of us saying anything. Just hugging and crying.
Eventually we got ourselves together and finished our shopping.
This morning I woke up at 4am with a pit in my stomach. I laid there for hours thinking about my brother and how upset he must be. I didn’t know how I could go to work. I wanted nothing more than to stay home and stare at the wall. I felt horribly depressed.
When I got to work, my dad called and told me that Winfield had called him at home this morning to tell him that he is definitely not coming home in May. His tour of duty has been extended for at least another 6 months. He will be leaving Baghdad as scheduled and will go on a field mission for a while. As far as I know, he will be unable to contact us during this time. (For the news story relating to this post, click here.)
My brother has been in Iraq for 13 months. I have not seen nor hugged him in over a year. Now it seems as though I won’t be able to share these moments with him for quite a bit longer. We had planned his entire visit, reserved hotel rooms, bought theatre tickets, and put our hearts into it. Now, it’s just not happening.
There’s not much else I can say about it except that I feel as though my heart has completely broken. My parents have left work and are sitting at home right now bawling their eyes out. I am supposed to go home tomorrow to be with them for Easter. It is sure to be a miserable trip.
I am not angry at the military right now, nor am I angry at anyone. I just feel defeated. As I said to my mom this morning “There is only so much one family can take.”
And now we continue on as we did before…
Last night, as Paul and I were putting on our jackets to go to the grocery store, my phone rang and my dad left a message on our answering machine:
“Joe, this is your father. I have a question I need you to ask your brother when he calls you tomorrow. It’s incredibly important.”
My jaw immediately clenched shut as I thought about what my dad was going to say. I was so shocked by the message that I told Paul that I didn’t want to call him back, at least not until after we went grocery shopping. We finished getting ready and stepped out the front door.
As we walked to the store, Paul handed me the phone and before I could resist any further, he dialed the number to my home. My dad answered immediately and we had the following conversation:
Dad: “I have some potentially bad news.”
Me: “Oh no, what is it?”
Dad: “There is a high chance that Winfield will not be coming home for his May visit. There has been an uprising in Baghdad that has caused leave cancellation for many different military personnel.”
Me: “You mean, he’s not coming home anymore?”
Dad: “It’s very possible. (choking on sobs) Winfield told us that he will call you tomorrow. He will not be able to tell you details, but you need to ask him one question for us. “Have the plans changed?”
Me: “I don’t understand. He’s just not coming home now?”
Dad: “That seems to be the case, but we won’t know for sure until he calls you tomorrow.”
Me: (shocked) “Ok. I will ask him that question when he calls.”
Dad: (crying hard) “Thanks Joe. Call me as soon as you know. Please.”
Me: “I will.”
I hung up the phone and stood in the middle of the street for a minute. I felt as though my world totally caved in out of nowhere. Paul was waiting for me on the corner and he asked what was wrong. I told him what my dad said and he offered to go sit somewhere to discuss it. I refused and told him that we should continue on with our night as best as we could.
We began walking around the grocery store and when we ended up in the bread isle, I lost it. The sobs came hard and fast and I felt as though I was going to pass out. Paul immediately wrapped his arms around me in the store and we both stood there and cried for a couple of minutes; neither of us saying anything. Just hugging and crying.
Eventually we got ourselves together and finished our shopping.
This morning I woke up at 4am with a pit in my stomach. I laid there for hours thinking about my brother and how upset he must be. I didn’t know how I could go to work. I wanted nothing more than to stay home and stare at the wall. I felt horribly depressed.
When I got to work, my dad called and told me that Winfield had called him at home this morning to tell him that he is definitely not coming home in May. His tour of duty has been extended for at least another 6 months. He will be leaving Baghdad as scheduled and will go on a field mission for a while. As far as I know, he will be unable to contact us during this time. (For the news story relating to this post, click here.)
My brother has been in Iraq for 13 months. I have not seen nor hugged him in over a year. Now it seems as though I won’t be able to share these moments with him for quite a bit longer. We had planned his entire visit, reserved hotel rooms, bought theatre tickets, and put our hearts into it. Now, it’s just not happening.
There’s not much else I can say about it except that I feel as though my heart has completely broken. My parents have left work and are sitting at home right now bawling their eyes out. I am supposed to go home tomorrow to be with them for Easter. It is sure to be a miserable trip.
I am not angry at the military right now, nor am I angry at anyone. I just feel defeated. As I said to my mom this morning “There is only so much one family can take.”
And now we continue on as we did before…
Monday, April 05, 2004
On a Mini-Break
Due to the wonderful world of Judaism, I am leaving work in about 10 minutes, not to return until Thursday morning. Passover of my LOVE!
This weekend rocked on a million levels and I feel pretty wiped out. I have a ton of shit to do this week, so this time off couldn't have come at a better...well...time. Too much fun makes Joe unable to type a coherent post.
I hope everyone has a great week!
Try no to miss me too much, k? Cuz I will be sitting at home, masturbating to every inch of your body.
I'll make sure to clean up the spooge. Promise.
PEACE OUT!
Due to the wonderful world of Judaism, I am leaving work in about 10 minutes, not to return until Thursday morning. Passover of my LOVE!
This weekend rocked on a million levels and I feel pretty wiped out. I have a ton of shit to do this week, so this time off couldn't have come at a better...well...time. Too much fun makes Joe unable to type a coherent post.
I hope everyone has a great week!
Try no to miss me too much, k? Cuz I will be sitting at home, masturbating to every inch of your body.
I'll make sure to clean up the spooge. Promise.
PEACE OUT!
Friday, April 02, 2004
Free Thought on a Friday
I was sitting here staring at the computer for a solid ten minutes, with complete writer’s block, when I decided to do a quick and concise entry in the high school style of “free thought”. I don’t really know what I want to write about, so I thought it might be fun to spend five minutes writing only about the different things that float in and out of my mind. Hence, well…free thought.
Today my teeth feel funny. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m still reeling from that nasty nap dream I had yesterday. Either way, part of me wants to punch my own teeth in so that they stop irritating the fuck out of me.
Last night I sat around and watched all of my programs. Survivor was the fucking best! I’m telling you, if you don’t watch this show, you don’t know whatcher missing. Rob and Amber? Mmmm….Rob. and Amber. The Apprentice was great as well and I muchly enjoyed seeing that tool bag fake ass southern boy Troy get the boot. His accent is like nails on a chalkboard and his hair could definitely use a different kind of gel. Every time he comes on the TV screen, his spikes poke me in my beautiful browns. ER sucked a dick, but I had to watch it based on years of commitment. Next week may be good though as Carrie Weaver can do no wrong in my eyes. If the episode is about her, then I will sit there in silence and pay attention to every line. I love her and her crippled leg.
I had eggs and a hash brown for breakfast. It took me 2 minutes and 38 seconds to shove it down my gullet. It wasn’t the best breakfast I have ever had. But then again, the best breakfast I ever had was at Bobbebbins and it was a cheeseburger.
SO! A friend of mine from college did my taxes the other night. He was going to do them for free since I offered to reward him with some of the pot. I was really nervous that I was going to owe a shit load of money this year. Last year I had to pay the IRS over $800. However, since I have been putting so much into my retirement package, my taxes are CHEAP this year. In total, I owe the Federal $36 and the State $48. Rock out. I’ll take it with a smile. My tax friend offered me a bunch of deduction options to lower the payments and even receive a refund, but I opted out. I didn’t want to do anything that I felt could be illegal.
But paying my tax guy in pot surely isn’t illegal. You understand the difference.
Also, while I was on the phone with my tax friend, we had this conversation:
Me: “Can I ask you a personal question?”
Tax Friend: “Sure. Go ahead.”
Me: “It’s a pretty bold question, are you sure you don’t mind?”
Tax Friend: “Not at all. What is it?”
Me: “Are you gay? I mean, I know it’s a blunt question, but something was telling me that you are gay and I just had to ask.”
Tax Friend: “HAHAHAHAHA. Joe, you are too much. Yes, I’m gay. How did you figure it out?”
Me: “Let me just say, I have my ways….”
Truth is, I knew when I ran into him a couple months back that he could be gay. I can always tell if a guy is gay or straight by the way they interact with me. I am a very accessible gay man and sometimes even the straight boys have been known to do a little flirting with me. All in all I was pretty impressed that I figured out the sexual orientation of my tax friend.
Wow…my free thought theory has actually been a bit more organized than I imagined it to be. My typos have been few and far between. I’m becoming quite a professional secretary, aren’t I?
I remember when I was little, I actually WANTED to be a secretary when I grew up. I thought it would be fun to answer the phone and to take messages. I should really be thankful. Cuz if I think about it, my dream has come true. Not everyone can say that. I wanted to be a secretary and now I am. Thank God I don’t have any loftier goals.
Alright…peace out shelly.
Hope everyone has a safe and CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY weekend!
I hope to!
BOOCHES!
I was sitting here staring at the computer for a solid ten minutes, with complete writer’s block, when I decided to do a quick and concise entry in the high school style of “free thought”. I don’t really know what I want to write about, so I thought it might be fun to spend five minutes writing only about the different things that float in and out of my mind. Hence, well…free thought.
Today my teeth feel funny. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m still reeling from that nasty nap dream I had yesterday. Either way, part of me wants to punch my own teeth in so that they stop irritating the fuck out of me.
Last night I sat around and watched all of my programs. Survivor was the fucking best! I’m telling you, if you don’t watch this show, you don’t know whatcher missing. Rob and Amber? Mmmm….Rob. and Amber. The Apprentice was great as well and I muchly enjoyed seeing that tool bag fake ass southern boy Troy get the boot. His accent is like nails on a chalkboard and his hair could definitely use a different kind of gel. Every time he comes on the TV screen, his spikes poke me in my beautiful browns. ER sucked a dick, but I had to watch it based on years of commitment. Next week may be good though as Carrie Weaver can do no wrong in my eyes. If the episode is about her, then I will sit there in silence and pay attention to every line. I love her and her crippled leg.
I had eggs and a hash brown for breakfast. It took me 2 minutes and 38 seconds to shove it down my gullet. It wasn’t the best breakfast I have ever had. But then again, the best breakfast I ever had was at Bobbebbins and it was a cheeseburger.
SO! A friend of mine from college did my taxes the other night. He was going to do them for free since I offered to reward him with some of the pot. I was really nervous that I was going to owe a shit load of money this year. Last year I had to pay the IRS over $800. However, since I have been putting so much into my retirement package, my taxes are CHEAP this year. In total, I owe the Federal $36 and the State $48. Rock out. I’ll take it with a smile. My tax friend offered me a bunch of deduction options to lower the payments and even receive a refund, but I opted out. I didn’t want to do anything that I felt could be illegal.
But paying my tax guy in pot surely isn’t illegal. You understand the difference.
Also, while I was on the phone with my tax friend, we had this conversation:
Me: “Can I ask you a personal question?”
Tax Friend: “Sure. Go ahead.”
Me: “It’s a pretty bold question, are you sure you don’t mind?”
Tax Friend: “Not at all. What is it?”
Me: “Are you gay? I mean, I know it’s a blunt question, but something was telling me that you are gay and I just had to ask.”
Tax Friend: “HAHAHAHAHA. Joe, you are too much. Yes, I’m gay. How did you figure it out?”
Me: “Let me just say, I have my ways….”
Truth is, I knew when I ran into him a couple months back that he could be gay. I can always tell if a guy is gay or straight by the way they interact with me. I am a very accessible gay man and sometimes even the straight boys have been known to do a little flirting with me. All in all I was pretty impressed that I figured out the sexual orientation of my tax friend.
Wow…my free thought theory has actually been a bit more organized than I imagined it to be. My typos have been few and far between. I’m becoming quite a professional secretary, aren’t I?
I remember when I was little, I actually WANTED to be a secretary when I grew up. I thought it would be fun to answer the phone and to take messages. I should really be thankful. Cuz if I think about it, my dream has come true. Not everyone can say that. I wanted to be a secretary and now I am. Thank God I don’t have any loftier goals.
Alright…peace out shelly.
Hope everyone has a safe and CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY weekend!
I hope to!
BOOCHES!
Thursday, April 01, 2004
(Big Breath) FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Ever have one of those days when you want to punch someone in the face?
On top of being in a generally bad mood today, I was extremely happy to find out that Paul left my apartment after Kelly this morning and because he doesn’t have a set of my new house keys, the door was left unlocked for the day. Kelly assured me that everything would be ok and if it wasn’t for her, I might have cabbed it down to the East Village to scratch Paul’s eyes out. Just one of those days…
Anyway…last night I had the pleasure of watching Extreme Makeover. The episode focused on an engaged couple who was having a complete physical overhaul. The got facial reconstruction, tummy tucks, liposuction, and even new porcelain veneers. They didn’t see each other’s new looks until they met at the altar at their wedding. It was highly interesting to watch, although I tend to squirm during the operation scenes. I mean, can you NOT take a chisel to someone’s nasal bones on national TV please?
Paul ended up arriving at my house at 10pm. He had to cater a party at a restaurant near my apartment so he came over after he was finished. He was fucking wasted and he irritated me almost the entire time. I hate when he drinks. He acts like such a fucking tool bag. He grabs at me and says obnoxious shit. His face takes on this different look…his “wasted” look and it makes me INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. Needless to say, hanging out with him last night did not do anything to solve the problems that we are having in our relationship. In fact, I went to bed wanting nothing more than to be sleeping alone. Whatever…it’s hard to explain and no one seems to understand, so let’s just move on. (can you tell that I’m just NOT in the mood today?)
When I was taking my nap at lunch, I had a really bad 30 second dream.
In the dream I was looking in the mirror when all of a sudden my front teeth started to vibrate painfully until they vibrated so much that a chunk of my front tooth cracked out of my mouth and fell into my hand. There was a stream of blood that followed. I immediately woke up after it happened and lay on my back rubbing my teeth with my fingers. Today sucks, even dream wise.
In other news, I am very much looking forward to watching The Apprentice and ER tonight. If that doesn’t cheer me up, I don’t know what will. I will be especially annoyed if my boy Nicholas gets fired tonight. It’s hard to fall in love with someone, only to find out that they are a failure. hahahahaha sike. Ok, not so sike.
I don’t know if I mentioned it earlier, but my brother did in fact receive the Bronze Star for his work in Iraq! 750 soldiers were nominated and 12 received the award in a ceremony last week. My brother was one of these proud 12. My family couldn’t be more in awe of him than we already are. He is such a superstar and so brave. I can’t believe the greatness that has come out of him. It’s really something else.
I continue to sit here in NYC wallowing my life away with unimportant bullshit. I’m not at all comparing my activities with those of my brother, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind a lot.
A lot.
Anyways, one more hour and I can escape my job and do something with myself. I need a change of environment, I think. Maybe that will cheer me up a bit. Go outside, smoke a butt, fuck a hot guy, and punch a beggar in the face.
There really is no better way to spend a rainy Thursday evening.
Ever have one of those days when you want to punch someone in the face?
On top of being in a generally bad mood today, I was extremely happy to find out that Paul left my apartment after Kelly this morning and because he doesn’t have a set of my new house keys, the door was left unlocked for the day. Kelly assured me that everything would be ok and if it wasn’t for her, I might have cabbed it down to the East Village to scratch Paul’s eyes out. Just one of those days…
Anyway…last night I had the pleasure of watching Extreme Makeover. The episode focused on an engaged couple who was having a complete physical overhaul. The got facial reconstruction, tummy tucks, liposuction, and even new porcelain veneers. They didn’t see each other’s new looks until they met at the altar at their wedding. It was highly interesting to watch, although I tend to squirm during the operation scenes. I mean, can you NOT take a chisel to someone’s nasal bones on national TV please?
Paul ended up arriving at my house at 10pm. He had to cater a party at a restaurant near my apartment so he came over after he was finished. He was fucking wasted and he irritated me almost the entire time. I hate when he drinks. He acts like such a fucking tool bag. He grabs at me and says obnoxious shit. His face takes on this different look…his “wasted” look and it makes me INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. Needless to say, hanging out with him last night did not do anything to solve the problems that we are having in our relationship. In fact, I went to bed wanting nothing more than to be sleeping alone. Whatever…it’s hard to explain and no one seems to understand, so let’s just move on. (can you tell that I’m just NOT in the mood today?)
When I was taking my nap at lunch, I had a really bad 30 second dream.
In the dream I was looking in the mirror when all of a sudden my front teeth started to vibrate painfully until they vibrated so much that a chunk of my front tooth cracked out of my mouth and fell into my hand. There was a stream of blood that followed. I immediately woke up after it happened and lay on my back rubbing my teeth with my fingers. Today sucks, even dream wise.
In other news, I am very much looking forward to watching The Apprentice and ER tonight. If that doesn’t cheer me up, I don’t know what will. I will be especially annoyed if my boy Nicholas gets fired tonight. It’s hard to fall in love with someone, only to find out that they are a failure. hahahahaha sike. Ok, not so sike.
I don’t know if I mentioned it earlier, but my brother did in fact receive the Bronze Star for his work in Iraq! 750 soldiers were nominated and 12 received the award in a ceremony last week. My brother was one of these proud 12. My family couldn’t be more in awe of him than we already are. He is such a superstar and so brave. I can’t believe the greatness that has come out of him. It’s really something else.
I continue to sit here in NYC wallowing my life away with unimportant bullshit. I’m not at all comparing my activities with those of my brother, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind a lot.
A lot.
Anyways, one more hour and I can escape my job and do something with myself. I need a change of environment, I think. Maybe that will cheer me up a bit. Go outside, smoke a butt, fuck a hot guy, and punch a beggar in the face.
There really is no better way to spend a rainy Thursday evening.
